Why am I speaking alone? (2023)

Psychologists refer to the habit of talking to yourself out loud as internal external dialogue. If you sometimes talk to yourself, you are not alone. Far from being an occasional trend, it's actually quite common.

Some evidence suggests that talking to yourself may have a number of psychological benefits. Research suggests that this type of self-talk is linked to a variety of different mental functions, includingProblem solving, reasoning, planning,Motivationand attention.

This article looks at some of the reasons people talk to themselves and some of the potential benefits of doing so. It also covers what to do if you want to stop talking to yourself and some of the signs that doing so might be cause for concern.

Why do people talk to themselves?

Children begin to speak to themselves at the age of two or three, but at this age it usually does not differ much from other social language. Around the age of five, children become more reticent of their self-directed speech. They still talk to themselves, but often speak shorter, lower, or in private to avoid being overheard by others.

And while it often becomes less obvious to others, self-talk rarely disappears entirely. Most people talk to themselves at least occasionally, while others do it much more frequently.

While external self-talk is relatively common, there hasn't been much research into why some people talk out loud to themselves and others don't. A 2019 article published in the magazinefrontiers of psychologyHe examined a few different explanations that came up.

Social isolation

One theory is that people who spend moretime aloneprobably more likely to talk to himself. Because they have fewer interactions with others, their internal dialogue can serve as a form of social communication.

There is a lot of research that supports this theory. Studies have shown that adults who were only children are more likely to engage in external internal conversations.

Another study found that people whosoloand have a strong need to belong are also more likely to talk to themselves. Soliloquy, in this case, serves to satisfy a need that is not being met by limited or unfulfilled social relationships.

cognitive disorder

This theory suggests that people may talk to themselves loudly due to cognitive impairments, often caused by stress or other similar events. For example, feelings of fear.obsessionsThe tendencies can produce cognitive alterations associated with an increase in internal dialogue.

For example, one study found that when preparing for a speech, people tend to talk more to themselves when they expect to speak in public.

The type

There are different ways to talk to yourself. Self-talk tends to be positive or negative, but it can also differ in terms of its intended purpose.

• positive and negative self-talk: Positive self-talk can include devotionself affirmationsor statements designed to help keep you motivated and inspired. Negative self-talk often focuses on self-critical or blame statements.
• instructional soliloquy: This form of self-directed speech focuses on talking about the steps you need to take to solve a problem or accomplish a task.
• motivational self dialogue: This type of speech focuses on providing an incentive to complete a task. For example, you can congratulate yourself on your efforts or remind yourself that you can be successful.

Surprisingly, the researchers found that negative self-talk doesn't always affect performance. On the contrary, it can sometimes provide useful and realistic feedback that can help you improve your performance in the future. A lot ofnegative self-talk, but it can erode your confidence in the long run, so it's important not to make it a habit.

advantages

Talking alone can have several benefits. Some of them include:

reflection

Self-talk can be helpful in distancing yourself from your own experiences. It allows you to reflect on the things that are happening in your life. By giving him some distance, it can be a great way to see things more objectively.

This can minimize the immediate emotions and gut feelings you may be having at the moment, allowing you to see things more clearly and rationally.

Motivation

Talking to yourself can also be motivating. Consider times when you have expected a challenge and said to yourself, "I can do this" or "You can do it." These thoughts can be helpful if you keep them inside, but getting those thoughts out in the open can be even more motivating.

One study found whenbasket playerSelf-talk with instructional or motivational statements showed significant improvements over a control group.

Those who used prompts showed higher performance accuracy, and those who used motivational prompts completed tasks much faster.

better memory

If you've ever found yourself talking to yourself while walking the aisles of a supermarket, don't worry: research has shown that it can actually help you better remember the items on your list.

In one experiment, participants had to search for items in a store without saying anything.However, during the experiment phase, the participants were instructed to repeat the names of the items searched for during the search. The results showed that the self-talkers found it easier to find what they were looking for.

According to the researchers, the participants improved their memory by talking to themselves and made a stronger association between the words they spoke and the visual targets they were looking for.

Problem solving

Talking to yourself can also be a way to resolve any issues you may be facing. Known for being self-explanatory, this tactic can help people monitor their progress and improve their performance while solving a problem.

usos

Clearly there are benefits to self-talk, but there are also things you can do to make sure you're getting the most out of your self-talk. Strategies that can help are listed below.

stay positive

Negative self-talk, whether in your head or out loud, can be very detrimental to your well-being. If you tend to ponder or reflect on negativity, find ways to do it.rephrase your wordsCan be beneficial

That's not to say too positive or unrealistic things. For example, don't replace a negative statement like "I'm bad at it" with "I'm the best at it."

Instead, focus on positive but realistic affirmations that encourage a more optimistic attitude.mentality. For example, you could say, "This is hard, but you're learning. You're getting better every day."

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questions

Asking yourself questions about what you've learned or what something means can be a powerful tool for improving memory. Since you are essentially learning something and then learning something, it helps to reinforce and tie the information together.long term memorymore effective.

watch what you say

Self-talk is most beneficial when you really pay attention and listen to what you are saying.

While you can sometimes be more aware of what's going on without really paying attention to the content of your words, listening to and reflecting on your self-talk can help you learn more.self awareness.

Use second or third persona

Instead of speaking to yourself in the first person, try switching to a second or even third person perspective.

Using the third person can help you distance yourself from these feelings, which can help you assess them more objectively, almost as if you are observing someone else's thoughts instead of your own.

The way you talk to yourself can have a huge impact on you.Self esteem, learning and self-awareness. Treating yourself kindly, asking yourself questions, and watching your words can help you make the most of your self-talk.

how to control

There's usually nothing wrong with talking to yourself, but that doesn't mean there aren't times when you want to keep your thoughts to yourself instead of verbalizing them. For example, others may be distracted by your self-talk, especially if you share a workspace.

So what can you do to control your tendency to talk to yourself? Some strategies that can help with this are:

• chat with other people: When talking to yourself to reflect on a problem or to motivate yourself, it can be helpful to talk to the people around you. They can ask questions or ask if they want to provide feedback on their ideas.
• get distracted: Finding other ways to keep yourself busy can help reduce the urge to speak loudly. For example, you can chew gum, take a sip of water, or suck on a mint or piece of candy.
• scribe: Journaling can be a useful practice that can help you process emotions, find solutions, and evenrelieve stress symptoms.

when to worry

Self-talk is not always a positive force. When you find yourself engaging in negative self-talk, it can affect your confidence, self-esteem, and mental well-being.

Sometimes you can participate in an internal dialogueugly, or talking about the same sad, negative, and dark thoughts over and over again. This type of internal dialogue can be a sign of mental illness, such asDepression.

Self-talk can also be a problem if it occurs as a resulthallucinations. In this case, a person would be speaking out loud to a non-existent external source instead of starting a conversation with themselves.

Hallucinations can be associated with a number of different conditions, includingschizophrenia,Bipolar disorder, substance use, metabolic conditions andpost traumatic stress disorder(PTSD).

In most cases, self-talk is not a sign of an underlying mental health issue. However, if this self-talk is extremely negative, difficult to control, or is accompanied by auditory or visual hallucinations, you should talk to your doctor.

A doctor or therapist can help determine if you may have a mental illness and recommend appropriate treatments. They can also help you control behavior and avoid negative self-talk.

A word from Verywell

While self-talk is sometimes considered eccentric, quirky, or even pathological, it's important to remember that it's actually incredibly common. Additionally, it can have a number of important benefits, includingregulate emotionsand memory improvement.

So go ahead and talk to yourself as you walk down the aisle at the grocery store or as you prepare to give a big speech. While it may sound silly, it actually works.